


the return

by eg1701



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Gen, Mother-Son Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Past Abuse, edward cullen's little bender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eg1701/pseuds/eg1701
Summary: Edward returns from his time away. Esme asks him to tell her everything.
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen & Esme Cullen
Kudos: 7





	the return

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't _technically_ compliant with the scene in midnight sun but uhhh here u go anyway because edward and esme's relationships makes me very soft

“I’m sorry Mom,” Edward said, burying his face in her shoulder. He felt heavy in her arms, like she was holding all his weight. She tightened her grip, one hand on the back of his neck. He gripped the back of her shirt, tight, like a small child who’d been hurt and gone to his mother for comfort.

_There’s no need to be sorry Edward darling._

“I am though,” he said, his voice muffled, “I’m so sorry.

“You’re home now,” she said aloud. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to the one sided conversations Carlisle seemed to excel at. She knew he could hear her thoughts, but she wanted to say them. To make sure he heard them and to make sure he knew she meant them, truly she meant them, from the deepest part of her heart, “It’s alright.”

He pulled away, just enough to look at her. He looked terrible, she thought, sick somehow. They couldn’t get ill, not like the humans, but the time away had not been kind to him. She knew these sorts of things. Carlisle would call it a mother’s intuition. 

“Are you staying?” she asked, putting a gentle hand on his arm. She half expected him to pull away.

He nodded, “If you’ll take me back. You and Carlisle both. What I did-”

She shook her head, “There’ll be time for all that when your father gets home. He’s still at the hospital. Come inside. It’s going to be alright.”

“You’re not mad at me?” he asked, following her inside. She dropped her muddy gloves on the rug and kicked off her dirty boots. She heard Edward take his own shoes off and they stood in the entrance for a moment. He wouldn’t meet her eye. 

“Whatever you did,” she said, “I am not mad at you.”

“I know you mean it _now,_ but you might not, after everything.”

She shook her head, “I will. Have you...are you thirsty?”

“No,” he pulled at his sleeve, “No, I’m alright. When’s Carlisle getting home?”

“An hour or so,” she frowned, “Is there something you want to tell me before he gets home?”

She couldn’t read minds, that was true, but she found Edward easy enough to read. He knew she harbored no resentment against him, that no matter what he did when he was away, neither she nor Carlisle would hold it against him. They would still love him, unconditionally. She hoped she could somehow convince him of this, for it seemed that he was incredibly anxious about it.

“Yes,” he said, his voice thick. He looked down at the floor. She waited, resisting the urge to comfort. She was worried he would shake her off, “There is.”

“Whatever it is,” she said, her worry growing stronger now, “It’ll be alright.”

“When I was away,” he began, slowly, measuring each word, as if to gage her reaction, “When I was… rebelling, I fell off the wagon. Took to humans.”

She nodded, keeping her face as neutral, “I thought maybe you did. But that’s alright.”

He shook his head, cutting her off before she could continue, “There’s more.”

They were both silent for a moment. Esme made it a point not to speak. Edward would have to explain it. 

When he figured she wasn’t going to say anything, he continued.

“I stuck to bad people, bad _men._ The ones whose thoughts were vile and violent. I thought perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if I killed someone who was just going to go home and hurt others, who was going to corner some poor girl or child or something like that.”

A memory surfaced, and Esme pushed it down quickly, before Edward could see it. She didn’t want him seeing that just now.

“Yes,” he said thoughtfully, finally, _finally_ meeting her eye and she realized she wasn’t fast enough, “I thought about him too. He was my first. It was an easy choice. I spent time hunting him down. He hadn’t changed. He was the first. The easiest one to justify I suppose, because I knew his thoughts weren’t a one off.”

Esme blinked-- a strange a human response, but the first one that came to her mind. The words were sinking in slowly, like Edward had yelled them at her from several blocks away and they had only just reached her.

“Charles is dead.” She had meant for it to be a question, for Edward to confirm it, but it had come out flat and monotone.

He nodded, “Yes.”

“Did it hurt?” she asked, quietly, shutting her eyes. She could see Charles, on their wedding day, the perfect gentleman. Could see him on her arm, could see him drunk and raging. Could see her own bruised reflection in her mirror, could see the way he had wanted to kill her some nights. The fury in his eyes.

“You don’t want to hear all of that-”

“Edward,” she opened her eyes, her tone firm-- maternal, “Tell me about it. Did it hurt?”

Finally, after several tense moments, he nodded, just once. If she hadn’t been so focused on him she might have missed it.

“I think so.”

“That’s probably what he deserved,” she said after an agonizing long moment of silence, in a whisper only another vampire could have heard, “That’s probably for the best. I wouldn’t want any other woman marrying him.”

Edward opened his mouth, then shut it again. 

“I’m not upset with you dear,” she said, shaking her head slightly, worried that she might have been, that that was the reason she was so quiet. The memories she kept locked away, far away in her mind were threatening to spill over, and she wanted nothing more than to hide them away again. 

She had known Charles was out there somewhere, maybe married again, maybe a permanent fixture at some bar. Or that maybe he _had_ died, the drinking or fighting finally doing him in. 

She hadn’t expected Edward to be the one to do it though. 

“I’m sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Maybe it was presumptuous of me. I just-”

She shook her head, and smiled, “Don’t apologize anymore. I’m not upset with you, I’m not mad at you. What’s done is done and you’ve come home. That’s what matters to me. Everything else is… superficial.”

“How do I tell Carlisle?” Edward asked, glancing at the door like Carlisle might come strolling in at any moment. 

“Just how you told me,” she smiled and put a hand on his cheek, “He’s not going to be angry either. You know he trusts you to make decisions. He loves you. And there’s nothing you can do to change his mind. If you’d like, I’ll tell him.”

“No,” Edward shook his head, “I should do it. It’s my responsibility.”

“That’s very mature of you. And I think it’s the right choice. Edward, I mean it. There’s no need to be worried. He’s not going to be upset with you.”

“Even if he was,” Edward shook his head, “I think you’d talk him out of it.”

“I’m very glad you’re home,” she said in response, “That’s what I’ve been hoping for. Carlisle said you would be. He had faith in you. Even just to visit.”

“I’m here to stay,” Edward said firmly, “I shouldn't have left you Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking about you, only myself.”

“No, dear,” she embraced him again, “you did what you had to do. You’re allowed to do that. You’re grown. And besides. I do believe Carlisle will agree that the world is perhaps better off without Charles in it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Edward said, “I find it hard to think of Carlisle like that. But for you? Perhaps. I think perhaps he would do something.”

Esme smiled, “I’m glad you’re home dear. Will you sit with me for a bit? Until Carlisle gets home? I’ve missed you very much.”

“I know Mom,” he returned the smile, “I do believe I’m here to stay now.”

“You ought to be,” she put her hands on her hips, “Don’t do that to your poor mother again.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks as always!


End file.
